So the last Christmas shopping season with Cory alive, Jacob was nine and Cory was eighteen. We bundled up and went to sharpen up their Christmas wish list at Target. Basically, we walked the aisles together and I took mental notes as to which sweater or which scarf made Cory's eyes light up and which toy Jake had a hard time setting back down on the shelf.
As always, they each asked me to buy them a little something pre-holiday and I had to say no. Cory pouted beautifully as I forced her to set the fox face purse back on the hook and the fox ears hat back on the shelf. Jake changed his plea to popcorn, and it was there that I got a terribly, awfully good idea. Almost everything Jake had pointed out was on sale, but one never knew how long the supplies would hold out or when the sales would end, and for Cory, there were only two fox face purses and one fox ears hat in the joint. There I was right there, cash in hand. What was a Momma to do? I got Jake engrossed in Pokemon cards and took Cory to the side for a little strategic planning. Grinning impishly, thinking only we were putting one over on the younger brother, while also ensuring his Christmas dreams came true, Cory agreed to make him go look at girly stuff for a few minutes with her, with the promise to follow up with a tour of the tech department while I pled a fake case of gastrointestinal upset and headed off in the general direction of the restroom. I grabbed her hand for one final reminder...we must stay out of each other's designated areas as we could NOT run into each other or all would be lost. There could be no sightings!
"You can count on me, Mom. I got you, girl!" she said. I winked at her once, and then doubled over with pretend cramps, which didn't alarm Jake too much, as IBS has always been an unwelcome, but frequent interloper in my life.
I staggered off towards the "restroom", looking behind my shoulder once to make sure their backs were turned. In a manner reminiscent of Beat the Clock on the Price is Right, I quite literally ran to the carts. Cory and Jake safely headed toward the Junior department, I went in the opposite direction towards the toys. Within about two minutes, I had thrown every toy on his wish list (many, many Star Wars action figures, several Lego sets, and a handful of HexBugs) in the cart. I added a couple of Nerf guns and ammo for good measure and my boy was set. Jake was done. It was the fastest Christmas shopping I'd ever done in my life, even better than Black Friday.
It was time for the ninja part. Feeling like I was wearing a sign that said, "Hey, kids, look over here!", I rolled steathily towards the accessories department. I parked the cart at the place where jewelry joins the little girls department and peeked around the corner. No kids in sight. Head down, I ran over the foxes display and scooped up Cory's loot. I snuck around the endcap and searched the entrance of the junior department for the kids. It had been exactly five minutes. Was that long enough? Had they moved onto the tech department? I had to get to the sweaters without them seeing me.
I ran back to my cart before it was commandeered, and decided to make a break for it. Using big displays as camouflage, I entered the danger zone. I grabbed up the knit goods, darting glances all around as I went. This was like laser tag, but shopping. Not able to finish all of Cory's shopping at one place, I nonetheless had a few items I knew she wanted badly. It was time to hit the checkout before I got busted.
Of course, the lines were long. There I was with a cart piled high with their treasures, feeling incredibly exposed and checking my watch. How long would Jake remain entertained by electronics? Normally, the case would be until Cory and I physically pulled him away, but who knows on this particular day? I've never been a very lucky person.
Just when I thought I'd spied the shape of Cory's head bobbing around the corner, causing my heart to jump into my throat, a service counter clerk called out, "I'm open if you want to come to the service counter!"
YEEESSSS!
I shot forward like my life depended on it and looked furtively behind me while she scanned all my items. A few hundred dollars later, I was racing towards the exit with bags and bags of contraband. I plowed through the parking lot like a manic, popped the trunk, and got rid of the evidence as fast as I could. I shoved my cart into a cart corral and ran for the door.
Once inside, I headed at what I hoped looked like a leisurely place towards electronics, when who should come sauntering towards me but my babies.
"We're all done looking, Mom. Are you feeling better?" Cory asked.
I broke into a guilty grin. "I am."
Jake looked from one of us to the other and then launched comfortably into the virtues of the latest tech gadget, oblivious to all. Cory and I exchanged a look that said, "Mission accomplished. We rule the world. We can do anything together."
This is Christmas shopping used to be like. They were the best times of my life.
Istag
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