Why I Sleep So Much

I spent about 10 minutes with Cory last night.  Here's what we did:

We spent five minutes in a Macy's dressing room as Cory tried on a cute little black Calvin Klein dress that fit like a glove.  I zipped it for her, and watched her twirl.  Overcome with joy just to be in the same room with her, I fixed on details:  her hair that lifted ever so slightly in the air when she moved, the proud way she pulled her shoulders back when she caught sight of herself in the mirror, and her toes flexing as she stood up on pretend high heels.  She grappled for the price tag behind her with that question in her eyes, "Mom, can I have it?" and I waved a joyful hand,
"Sold!"

Last night, we also relived our last experience watching Children of the Corn together.  I don't care how old it is, how hokey, or how bad the special effects are.  That is a truly creepy movie if only because of cast of characters.  Add in all the murders and time spent outdoors, and I was prepared to never leave my house again.  The movie came out in 1984, and I remember watching it in my basement family room with my best friend, Nicole, amidst heaps of junk food. 

As everything good in life that I have experienced, it only grew better when I shared it with my girl.  Late one night, we watched it huddled under a blanket on the couch with the lights out, fully intending to keep the references going for the better part of a week.  We even got Gizmo in on the act, referring to him as "He Who Walks Behind the Rows" and turning Cory's cat, Church, into the prophet for our new household. 

This sheer ridiculousness was all par for the course for us, but got even better as we watched the credits roll up and Cory noticed that Malachai's character was named Courtney in real life.  She turned to me in disbelief and outright horror.   "Mom, Malachai is a girl!"

Cracking up, we carried on about this for the better part of an hour, peppering our review of his/her performance with heartfelt questions.  Why would they hire a girl to play a male's part?  Was the adam's apple that bobbed up and down on Malachai's neck in moments of uncontrollable rage real or manufactured?  Did the incidents of violence coincide with Courtney's time of the month?

When we could take it no longer, we googled Courtney Gains to discover the person in question was, in actuality, a male.  Slightly disappointed, we grinned at each other, continuing our banter with, "Yeah, but just think if that was a girl..."