When All Else Fails

When all else fails, there is ice cream.

I just remembered ice cream tonight...you know, that it is available to buy in stores and can be served at home.  Sure, we've had our share of milkshakes and flurries through the drive-thru, but I haven't bought ice cream in a grocery store since Cory died.

Moosetracks!  All of a sudden, it struck me, and I jumped in the car to get a half-gallon at Family Fare.  I came home and scooped it with our blue ice cream scooper that's been on hiatus for the last three years.  I put it in a coffee mug and added a splash of milk, the way we always did.

How could I have forgotten about ice cream?  And did I forget, or was this another way to punish myself for failing her?  And shame on me if it was the latter, because Jacob has suffered the same dismal absence of ice cream in his household for the last three years, right along with me.  He didn't do anything but wait on the lawn.

Maybe it reminded me too much of our movie nights and "shows" watched back to back after dinner.
Whatever the reason, I scooped it with a heavy hand tonight.  To hell with the extra calories, it could be worse, right?  It could be cocaine or meth or heroin.