They said it would be like waves. Good days. Bad days.
The calm waters are like this: the possibility of peace is within reach, just a few inches away...if I can can just st-r-e-t-ch for it. My thoughts go like this: I loved her completely. I knew her. I will never know the agonizing regret of a parent who didn't know their child. Or walked away from them completely.
It was my privilege to watch her grow, to help shape her, every mistake a chance for us both to learn before taking the next step down the path.
I made time to make memories, folded them carefully, minded the creases, and placed them gently in my pocket to carry with me everywhere I go. No one can take them from me.
The best thing I've ever known was the trust I built with her. I know she felt the same. No doubt whatsoever. I protected her every chance I got...I just didn't get the chance that day.
But then, the winds change.
The skies darken, and the waves come faster and higher than my head.
Yesterday, I had clarity. Today, I am seconds away from drowning in guilt.
What in the hell was I thinking?
How could I have let her walk to the store in that heat?
Failure, failure, failure.
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