It is a huge goal of mine to make sure Jacob is affectionate and able to talk about his feelings. Since he naturally introverted, I've had to invent a wide variety of little games to give him a safe space to do so. It's not so much that I don't want him to be introverted, because I think we are quite the undervalued lot, but more that I want him to be able to connect with people when he needs them- and when they need him. I've watched him over the last few months, drift further and further away from others.
So, this morning:
I asked him to give me a hug, which he did, the first to break away, and checking around the house to see if any of the pets were watching. I pounced on him, and demanded another, asking if this time he would hug me as much as he loved me. He took this on, saying dubiously, "Okay...but I hope no one gets hurt here." I laughed, and then asked him to hug me as much as he missed Cory. I braced myself, expecting to be flung violently across the room with the force of his grief. Instead, he hugged me gently, and clung. When I asked him to explain his hug, he said it was slow and steady, how much he missed her, and that she is always with him.
So, in this playful way, we have developed our own little emotional language. He insisted that I hug his kitten, Violet, when I left for the coffee shop, and then tell her exactly what it had meant.
This game will be good for him.
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