An incredible thing happened the last time Jacob spent the night at a friend's.
I missed him.
I missed him, not because the house was quiet without him now that Cory is gone, but in his own right for no other reason than he is fabulous company. Full stop.
I am ashamed to say I haven't been able to miss him all on his own without my grief for his sister bleeding over into it since she died. Being able to recognize this feeling and name it was so much like coming up from anesthesia after a surgery. It was murky and fleeting at first, but the consciousness grew stronger and the focus sharper over degrees as time went on. And isn't that what grief does...completely immobilize you for a time?
I am grateful to have woken up at last, and I can only hope not too much damage has been done to my boy in the meantime.
You see, he is the most amazing little man.
Hi Nicole my name is LaShana Jones. I am in Mark Varney's family therapy class. You spoke to our class today and I was really touched by your story about Corey. I wanted you to know that I think that you are incredible to have been able to make it this far in your life after everything you have been through. It took courage to share your story with us. I have lost my father and stepfather. Last year I lost my sister. I still miss her very much. But nothing compares to losing a child. I will be praying for you and your family to be able to get through this together.
ReplyDeleteLaShana, thank you so much, and thank you for listening...it really helps me to be able to tell my story and Cory's to others. My heart goes out to you- loss is so extremely devastating. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. It means so much.
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