Saturday, January 10, 2015

Will the Real Adult Here Please Stand Up?

Jacob and I had a very grown up conversation last night.  We were seated at the end of my bed on an enforced screen-time break.  I told him I missed his sister.  He said he did too.  I asked him what he missed about her, and he said, "She was so much fun to hang out with."

This struck me as very almost-thirteen-year-old statement to make.  Two and a half years ago, he would never have articulated his loss this way.  "Fun to hang out with" is teenager-speak.  This said to me that Cory was moving right along with him through the years.  He was thinking about her often, her presence and absence in his life.

Finally I just flat out asked him why he didn't want to go to the cemetery over the holidays.  His answer was simple, but logical, "I thought it might hurt too much."

I sat there, feeling like an insensitive idiot, and remembering just how crappy it feels to have someone else tell you how the proper way to grieve when you've lost someone you love more than life itself.

How about you tryNOT to be a hypocrite, Nick?

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