Coffee, Cory, and a Smile

Yep, I'm down at the coffeeshop again.  Told Tim goodbye this morning, "I'm going to work." 
"Work?  You're on layoff."  he responded with an envious smirk.
I just smiled, with downcast eyes.  Every day without Cory is the hardest job I've ever had.

 Ever since Cory's artwork hung last January, I am drawn to Brownstone, where I feel her so strongly she'd might as well be sitting across from me sipping a latte as I type.  Especially, now, I feel her, as I sit near her canvases, glancing up at her short life's work, writing and remembering.  Sometimes I smile; sometimes I cry.  The only thing I haven't done here at the coffeeshop is break plates, which is good, cause Donnie might stop calling me "Sweetie" or "Lovely" which always makes my day.

Today, I dragged myself out of bed- a chore in itself when the last bit of meds in my system held my body down  tight to that mattress.  I put on my "writer" pants, threw my hair up on top of my head, and called it good.  I needed to go  soak in my baby girl before leaving for Italy tomorrow.  My oldest sister, Tammy, texted me last night, and said she hoped we'd bump into each other.  I had no more came in and ordered my coffee, then she was walking in.  We found a table, and before we knew it, there were two men at the counter talking to the owner about Cory's art.  I was called over to answer some of their questions, and soon realized they were from the Enquirer, and interested in sharing Cory's story.

I am so thrilled to do this, for many reasons:
 First, and most selfishly, I do not ever want my girl to be forgotten.  To see her name in print will be to see she still matters, and is an active part of the world.  Secondly, how amazing is it that even more people will get to see her work?  Seriously, I dare anyone to come down there to see her art in person and not feel something.  She left it all on those canvases and paper:  the pain, the misery, the hope, the love.  It is tangible.  You can see it.  You can touch it.  How selfless of her to share herself with others so that we might understand a difficult, and foreign situation in a way we never could have, otherwise.

 And most importantly, I am so proud to see that Cory's voice will be heard to be speak out about mental illness, and get people to think about it in a different way.  It is an illness.  It does not define who you are.  There is no shame in seeking help.  And the people who struggle with their mental health are incredibly brave, and admirable people.  They are not damaged.  They are not weird.  They are just people living their lives with challenges most of us couldn't begin to imagine.
Yeah, that's what Cory would say.  She'd say we just need a little help, and we shouldn't feel ashamed to seek it.
Oh, and she'd say, "Dr. Z is the best.  I love that man."