It comes once and awhile- clear thinking. Here's a page from my journal some months ago to prove it:
All I do is keep buying things; it keeps my attention on something else. I am scared to live without her. Angry. Lost. But mostly afraid. Then I remember a line I read in one of her journals: "I've held myself in all day."
She no longer suffers.
In any way.
She is just full of peace and joy, love and contentment. How can I begrudge my baby girl that type of existence? Why would I? Am I really so selfish? I hope not.
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