Dear Paramedic Lady

Dear Paramedic Lady Who Was at the Scene of My Daughter's Accident, in Medical Control, and in Charge of Calling the ER Doctor,

I respect the job you do everyday.  I have no doubt you are incredibly strong to carry around those pictures in your head, and continue helping people anyway.  I appreciate the gentleness of your tone when you told me that my daughter's injuires were so severe that there was nothing you could have done to save her.  I appreciate how you understood that I had ceased to take in anything being said to me after I was told she was gone, and so you just poured water on my neck instead, and encouraged me to sit down.
I wanted to let you know that it would have meant the world to me to have seen attempts to bring her back...even if they were staged...even if they were pretend...even if they were solely for me, just because I happened to be on the scene.
\
You see, the horror I saw and must live with for the rest of my life was not just seeing my baby girl laid out on the road, it was also feeling helpless, and feeling confused to see the experts...the superheroes....the ones who save lives...not attempting to bring her back.
My head now understands why the decision was made not to attempt resuscitation, but my heart will ponder it to my grave.
For the next mother in my shoes, there on the scene- screaming and out of her mind- please consider a few seconds of make believe.  It could bring someone a great deal of peace just to know someone tried.
 Or appeared to.


Sincerely,
Nicole Mansfield