"Hey, Mom, can you do my eyeliner?" Cory would ask.
Whether I was sitting on the toilet or butterflying a chicken, I always tried to answer her immediately, "Sure, baby girl, one sec."
See, I could only imagine how difficult it must be to have to ask for help doing such a simple and personal task. Her tremors from the Lithium robbed her of independence at an age she should be steadily gaining it.
It hurt my heart; I'd be damned if I was going to make her feel bad for asking for help. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel like a burden. So many times she would bookend her request for help with, "I'm sorry."
More often than not, I would pause what I was doing, to take her face between my hands and look her in the eyes,
"Baby Girl, you have nothing to be sorry for."
"Are you sure, Mom? Are you sure you don't wish you had a regular daughter without all these problems?" she'd question.
"Cory Girl, I wouldn't trade you for anything or anyone. Do you hear me?"
"Thanks, Mom. I'm so lucky to have you." she'd say.
"No, Cory, I'm the lucky one." I'd return, using my sleeve to wipe a tear away before she could see.
I'd take a deep breath, and sit her down, my hands on her shoulders. I'd urge her to keep still, as I took an eyeliner crayon in hand, and carefully traced the outline of her huge green eyes. I'd smudge gently with a practiced pinkie, and pronounce her done, "Gorgeous!"
"Thanks, Mom." she'd say with a smile, "You're the best."
"No problem, pretty girl." I'd say back easily, watching as she wandered over to the hallway mirror to check out my handiwork.
I'd go back in time a little as I watched her examining her reflection a little too closely...often no smile, just a heavy sigh, which indicated to me that the criticisms had already begun in her head. So many of her mannerisms- and her symptoms- were so much like her father's.
My heart ached as I wished she could see what I saw. I wished she knew she was worth it all, and always would be.
Always, baby girl, always.
I wish I would of known Cory. She is a beautiful girl inside and out ... just like her mom.
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