Monday, August 17, 2015

Break Me Down

The fire truck came so slowly.  When you're on the road and you hear the sirens, you move to get over quick and they seem to pass by so fast.  But when they're coming for your kid, everything slows down.  The tape slows down.  I can't really explain some of these half-images, these ghost memories that come at night when I try to get to sleep.
It was like the sound of the sirens and the blat of the fire engine got turned up to an impossible volume, loud enough to just crack the planet in half.  Crazy, huh?  And at the same time, all movement slowed to a crawl...the rescue vehicles, the people...I swear they barely moved.  It was like watching the scene take place while underwater.  Nothing made sense.
And I was more than willing to do whatever they said, answer any and all of their questions, and keep my panic, my terror at bay until they turned her over.  Her blue lips.  That's when I lost my mind.  That's when it started to be real, the very second the sound and the movement came together perfectly and I took a breath just long enough to start screaming.

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