I've got a lot of work left to do.
I don't even want to go home today.
I don't want to go home and walk into a house where she isn't. I don't want to make dinner in the godforsaken kitchen with my cool Blue Apron meal supplies. I don't want to cook for three people. I don't want to take a leisurely shower afterwards uninterrupted by her pounding on the door to ask me a question. I don't want to beg Jacob to watch Switched At Birth with me, get rejected, and then end up watching it alone, feeling sad and empty. I don't want to kiss one child good night, while the other one rests underground, surely bones by now.
I wish I could just disappear. It's too hard, and I'm tired of trying to be okay.
I'm not okay.
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