Today, Tim and Jake went to a Tiger's game. Left alone, in a house too quiet, I ventured out to get Jake's school clothes- shopping for one child when you used to shop for two is miserable. It's raining today, and I thought of how Cory and I used to link hands and run through the puddles screaming like loons. By the time I got to the coffee shop and put on my angry music, I was feeling more than a little downtrodden. The sky out is so grey and cloudy, it felt perfectly natural to daydream a little about who Cory would be today if she were still here.
I run into her friends and other kids her age all the time and they are so busy! Friends and jobs and studies- sometimes spouses and children. I think Cory would be at a little slower pace because she'd went through so much with her mental illness those last three years.
When I think about her sitting across from me right now, I imagine her with a smile. I can hear her laughter as we trade stories and people watch. There would be no strange thoughts or beliefs. I think the voices would be gone except for times of extreme stress. She would be taking her meds and seeing a therapist regularly. Definitely, she'd be taking classes. Maybe working part-time. She'd be reconnected with old friends and have made new ones.
My baby girl who was afraid to leave the house would be making plans all the time- getting txts, sending pics, dating the boys I didn't want her to date, getting tattoos. She'd be sending me funny things on facebook, and reassuring me all was well. Can you feel that? SHE would be reassuring ME that all was well. After all, she'd be a twenty two year old beautiful, intelligent, confident young woman who could do anything she put her mind to. Even overcoming mental illness. Especially overcoming mental illness.
That's who she'd be. Cause that's already who she was.
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