A few words about grief attacks-
They go like this:
Hey, I'm doing pretty good. I actually showered every day, even on the weekends, and I left the house!
Look at me, kicking butt at work! Go, me!
Wow, maybe I really can enjoy cooking again! I guess I just needed recipes I'd never cooked with or for my girl. The kitchen doesn't feel as horrible as I remember.
You know, I don't really feel too bad. I haven't thought about suicide in a minute. That's gotta be good, right? I must be stronger than I thought.
Gee, maybe I really should go through my closet and dresser drawers. It looks like Maurice's exploded in here. Yeah, I could do that. I'm totally gonna do that this weekend.
Maybe I'll schedule that hair cut I've been putting off forever. Get some highlights? I could be pretty again. Yeah, I think I could. Maybe I'll just wear dresses every single day. I love dresses.
Just bopping along trying to keep my head above water when suddenly I listen to the wrong song or I look at the wrong picture. The triggers can be anything really. They don't even always make sense.
And BOOM! In giant letters ten feet tall, grief is back.
Live without her? LIVE WITHOUT MY GIRL? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS ANOTHER DAY!!!
FUCK MY LIFE.
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